Presence Over Presents (ft. Eric Taylor, @girldad_e)

**Transcript Auto-Generated**

00:00:00:19 - 00:00:23:11
Matthew Krekeler
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation. In this episode, I welcome Eric Taylor. He is a dad to two young daughters and known as @girldad_e on Instagram. We talk about the importance of being president, admitting mistakes and holding men to higher standards. And that includes us, especially as fathers and role models to our kids. No dusty sons allowed. Our daughters deserve better.

00:00:23:15 - 00:00:26:05
Matthew Krekeler
Let's get to it.

00:00:36:07 - 00:00:37:17
Matthew Krekeler
Eric, welcome to the show.

00:00:38:23 - 00:00:47:05
Eric Taylor
Thanks, Matthew. So happy to be here and honored to work with girl that may bring in some love to the girl that oh yeah. Yeah.

00:00:47:05 - 00:00:53:16
Matthew Krekeler
I love your profile @girldad_e on Instagram. And where else are you right now?

00:00:53:16 - 00:01:01:04
Eric Taylor
Just on Instagram. Okay. Your millennials up on Instagram out of Facebook. At one point, I don't know how to do it.

00:01:02:23 - 00:01:22:01
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I'm on Facebook. I don't do as much on Facebook, but like Instagram is where I find most people like me tend to be. So it's been great connecting to people like you. And then I haven't jumped into Tik Tok yet, but I've heard people telling me to to do the Tik Tok thing too.

00:01:23:11 - 00:01:37:18
Eric Taylor
Yeah. I think at some point I'm going to jump on it. Tik Tok I feel like the follower the follower count jumps up crazy high over there and volume but in time we'll get there. Yeah. Baby steps.

00:01:38:18 - 00:01:49:17
Matthew Krekeler
Well, tell me a little bit about your background. And you have two daughters, six and four. They're about my daughter's age. My oldest is four. So yeah. Just tell me a little bit about your family life and stuff.

00:01:50:17 - 00:02:16:08
Eric Taylor
That's it. Yeah, that's. I married. Wonderful woman, Mexican woman. We were from California originally. We actually met at a church activity. A lot of fun. It's debatable depending on who you talk to, how the story actually went. I went up to her, not the other way around, but we got married and a year later decided to get started on this family life.

00:02:16:08 - 00:02:41:04
Eric Taylor
So we're actually talking about it. Yesterday I've lived with my daughter only two years less than my wife. It's just kind of crazy to think how long we've actually been a family, but it's been a lot of fun. So I have a six year old and have a four year old. It was kind of I mean, very different children, but both angelic and psychotic in their own ways.

00:02:41:04 - 00:03:05:17
Eric Taylor
There's so much fun. I take my my parenting seriously. Those two end up looking if you do end up looking for me, a girl that on Instagram I try I joke about it a lot. I like to have a lot of fun with it because I mean, it really it's fun. I take I take my job seriously, but I also like to make sure that we enjoy ourselves as much as possible.

00:03:05:21 - 00:03:26:03
Eric Taylor
You know, there's a line from my most disliked character on The Office was Andy Bernard, and he said, How do we know we're living in the good old days? My wife and I talk about that a lot, and we do our best to live in the good old days as I like that family.

00:03:27:15 - 00:03:52:11
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. And then tell me a little bit about the inspiration for your channel and then calling it Girl Dad. Like, obviously you're proud to have daughters, which is great. And then a lot of the content that you post you make, it's very satirical, which I like, and kind of calling out men too. And in a way it's a reflection as a father, like how can we be better fathers as well?

00:03:53:06 - 00:03:55:07
Matthew Krekeler
But yeah, tell me the inspiration behind that.

00:03:56:06 - 00:04:21:00
Eric Taylor
Absolutely. Yeah. When I first started off, you know, I realized I was on Instagram. I was like, I might as well create something, you know? And I've always been about being in front of groups saying, you know, I've been I was a teacher for eight years. So being in front of people and trying to make them laugh and engage with them and give them sort of educational good information, I knew that I could do that.

00:04:21:00 - 00:04:38:06
Eric Taylor
You know, I had those skills. So I was like, why not try to make at least have some fun with this and not just be a consumer? Let me be a creator to and being a girl that I'm super proud of it. You know, right. When my my my mom is probably the biggest tomboy I've ever met in my life.

00:04:38:06 - 00:04:59:13
Eric Taylor
She looks just like me. Hair is a little bit longer and sounds very similar. Taught me how to throw a football. I was raised by her so when we had a daughter first, I think she was a little bit like, uh, what are we going to do with this? But for me, I was happy. I was happy. We were blessed with a healthy child.

00:04:59:13 - 00:05:16:18
Eric Taylor
But after having our second daughter, I was like, I'm I got I don't I don't want to mess with this whole boy side, but I got to see in some of these other kids, you know, being at the park and stuff and and like, God, I love you, you know, whatever you blessed us with in the future, we're going to be super happy.

00:05:16:18 - 00:05:41:18
Eric Taylor
We're going to do our best for them. But please pleased that we girls of being around that. But I want them to to try to give more power to the men who are in situations like me. You know, I was raised by my mom, as I said, has stepped it up for a couple of years. Very atypical situation with a stepdad where we didn't really get along or didn't connect.

00:05:43:01 - 00:06:02:14
Eric Taylor
But as far as having an actual role model or learning what it's like to be a dad, I had no idea what to do, you know. So I've been I spend a majority of my time researching, we're studying, listening to people like you and and people like, like you other girl dads are just, you know, fatherhood in general.

00:06:03:04 - 00:06:24:15
Eric Taylor
I've had to take very seriously because I had no idea what it was supposed to look like. And I had no idea what I'm supposed to do. So I'm like, I got to do something. So in a way, this is my own study, but also trying to give some some love to the inspiration to those who are who are in the same boat.

00:06:26:12 - 00:06:56:12
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. Yeah, I like to. How you are motivated to seek out other dads and look for those examples in your life. I know there's a lot of people that have been called to fatherhood like you and I are, which is great. But then there's so many other fatherly figures that I've had in my own life and just really great men to that model, all of those great qualities, even if they aren't biological fathers, but just to be like a great father figure, a great mentor.

00:06:56:15 - 00:07:19:20
Matthew Krekeler
And yeah, it's I really care for people in a way that that fathers are called to do that. Has it changed? Like, was there anything before becoming a father that you told yourself, like, this is like a must do now that you have your own kids in the way that was maybe influenced by how you were raised?

00:07:21:11 - 00:07:26:19
Eric Taylor
Absolutely. And there's so many. And please, like, let me know. I'm good at rambling. So that cut me off.

00:07:26:19 - 00:07:28:10
Matthew Krekeler
And, you know, that's great.

00:07:28:10 - 00:07:53:05
Eric Taylor
But I, I think this is something that my mom told me when I was like a teenager. Right? It is the whole, like, sexual talk, like, basically just don't do it right? Don't be like me was her line. And I honestly hated that line because to me, she was a superwoman. She worked multiple jobs. She was a single mom for the longest.

00:07:53:05 - 00:08:16:15
Eric Taylor
And she gave me like everything that I needed to be successful. She was always ahead of me in church and activities, surrounded by people who would help me be successful. She was amazing. But that line I ended up changing. I kind of remixed it to my own situation. I said, You know, I I'm going to make sure that I am the husband that you never had.

00:08:16:20 - 00:08:38:16
Eric Taylor
And that I'm the father that I never had. And that's really my my driving force is I was always blessed to kind of learn from other people more so than making my own mistakes in the situation, if that makes sense. So my buddies get drunk and passed out at a party and I say, You know what, I'm not going to do that, you know?

00:08:38:23 - 00:09:01:09
Eric Taylor
So being the relationship that I didn't have with my stepdad, right, I'm not going to do that. I obviously my own situation and we can get deeper into it. Specifically, my actual father, whom I never met, but I'm literally going to be as opposite of that as possible. Right. Never met my father. I'm going to be as present as possible.

00:09:01:14 - 00:09:37:19
Eric Taylor
I my daughters are going to be so annoyed or love me because I'm always going to be there no matter what it is. Right. It's an activity. You know, you you just finished making dinner like I'm going to be there to hype you up because I know what it's like to have nothing there. And it's so important to me to give them not necessarily the stuff, because I think a lot of a lot of men, whether it's, you know, you end up in the step situation or maybe it's a separation or even just new age like we want to give them everything that we never had.

00:09:38:10 - 00:10:06:14
Eric Taylor
But, you know, Bruce Lee said, and I'm paraphrasing, but we don't have to give them all the stuff we never have. We need to give them the experiences and the feelings that we never had. And that's really my main goal is to is to help them experience what it's like to have a parent, especially a father that's there, a man in their life, to help them navigate what it means to be human on this earth.

00:10:06:22 - 00:10:28:11
Eric Taylor
You know, navigate what it's like to get to know God, what it means to, you know, go through your teens. And what's it like actually dealing with living with a silly, really dumb man most of the time. But that loves you so much and unconditionally, regardless. Yeah, again, I'm rambling, but yeah. No.

00:10:28:22 - 00:10:52:02
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. I just love hearing what you have to say. And yeah, I was just kind of reflecting on my own experience. I was blessed to have a great dad growing up and now, you know, as a father myself, like being able to take the reins for my own family and yeah, just kind of sort of reflecting on those two experiences.

00:10:52:02 - 00:11:29:06
Matthew Krekeler
And you were saying how it's not always like we have to give our kids the stuff we never had or try to recreate, even if we had a great experience, try to recreate every memory or all the things that we had when we were growing up. And I we're in a sort of different situation now. My wife and I, but even like trips and stuff that we're doing, there's so many great memories that I remember as a kid that like I want to be able to share with my kids, but not necessarily like it's not something that is like a deal breaker for them.

00:11:29:06 - 00:12:05:02
Matthew Krekeler
And in that like, you know, we might not be in the same phase financially or we might not like be able to do the same kinds of trips as some other parents or whatever. But, but what you said earlier about just being present as the most important thing, like no matter what your situation is and I just reflect on that and just being at home and just spending time with my kids in the yard, like even if we don't have all the fancy toys and stuff, it's just such a great feeling and like they just want to experience that with you as a parent.

00:12:05:05 - 00:12:23:17
Matthew Krekeler
And it's so wonderful just to like be able to see the world through your kids eyes and just all of those experiences are new to them, and it's about the people that you're with more than it is the material things or however fancy the different experiences are. Just like the quality time I think is the most important thing.

00:12:24:23 - 00:12:28:10
Matthew Krekeler
So yeah, that's just a little bit of like what I was reflecting on. Like when you said that.

00:12:30:07 - 00:12:53:21
Eric Taylor
Absolutely no quality time is, is, is huge. You know, I, I spent the majority of my time and, and this is kind of it's on topic, off topic. But growing up, you know, I I'm I'm 62. I've been 60 since I was 13. Right. So I grew up playing basketball and I like basically lived in my gym majority of the time.

00:12:53:21 - 00:13:12:06
Eric Taylor
Right. And when I think about my, my life growing up with, with sports, right. And I love sports and I would not take anything away from sports, anybody who plays it. But I think of what it would have been like if I was if I had a little bit less time on the court at practice and had a little bit more time with my mom or even my stepdad.

00:13:12:17 - 00:13:38:07
Eric Taylor
Yeah, like if I had more time, I was able to create quality time and experiences is not necessarily like the big old memories, right? Love Disney. Right. They remember going to Disney World like my four year old is. You really going to remember in 20 years? I don't know. But like the consistent everyday things, even just small ones, like cooking with my kids.

00:13:38:07 - 00:14:02:18
Eric Taylor
Yeah, just showing up. Yeah, just showing up. You know, they they feel that. And I know what it's, what it was like to not feel that. And knowing that you have somebody there, I think that's, that's huge. That's probably part of the reason I got into teaching because I, I wanted to be a positive male role model that could be there for the students at that time.

00:14:02:18 - 00:14:09:19
Eric Taylor
And I try to, you know, equate it across all boundaries, but most importantly with my own kids and.

00:14:11:10 - 00:14:25:09
Matthew Krekeler
I love that. In what ways do you like incorporate your kids and the activities that you're doing? Kind of like the day to day life kind of thing. Is there anything that you remember, like a memory of teaching your daughter something?

00:14:26:14 - 00:14:55:02
Eric Taylor
Oh, yeah, for sure. So. So my my oldest is allergic to all of the American and American things that people love, right? She she's a legendary Doritos. A Yeah. Doritos specifically right there. It's dairy, eggs, peanuts, sesame seed. It's a bunch of stuff right across the board. So good. Luckily, no, there's a one she doesn't have to deal with, but it's so many of the other things.

00:14:55:03 - 00:15:18:21
Eric Taylor
Yeah. So early on in like our time with her, I had to actually sit down and learn how to cook the right way when I was growing up. Like, I could scramble some eggs, but like, I didn't really know how to cook. So during 2020, especially, you know, I worked from home for, you know, for COVID. We were doing the distance learning, as they called it.

00:15:19:03 - 00:15:41:06
Eric Taylor
So I got to just cook and bake and just be there with her. And I think that was a lot of fun. And and we still do that to this day. You know, I'm not in the kitchen by myself. She's in there. But when we cut vegetables or they love adding all of the ingredients, especially the flour, which, of course, I'd close to the bowl, it's always at the top.

00:15:41:06 - 00:16:04:12
Eric Taylor
So it's you know, does a LeBron James and it's everywhere but they cooking is a lot of fun with them and cooking and crafting my my my all this is so crafty shows it just create stuff. So she'll just say, hey, hey, daddy, can we, can we paint or can we make this? Can we make that? I'm like, Yeah, let's do it right.

00:16:05:04 - 00:16:21:20
Eric Taylor
Make sure we put it back, right. So some of those having that, but I think cooking is, is a huge one. We, we love the time that we spend together in the kitchen cause she's always getting involved with it and cleaning, too, ironically.

00:16:22:14 - 00:16:23:04
Matthew Krekeler
Oh, that's great.

00:16:23:09 - 00:16:24:09
Eric Taylor
Yeah, we're going to.

00:16:24:10 - 00:16:25:04
Matthew Krekeler
Cleaning early.

00:16:26:01 - 00:16:38:02
Eric Taylor
And it's cleaning up their toys. They will never do it. But when I'm cleaning the bathrooms, then when I do it, once a quarter dog come and want to help clean the bathroom. So I'm like, okay, cool, let's get it. Yeah.

00:16:39:16 - 00:16:40:18
Matthew Krekeler
That's okay, kids.

00:16:41:22 - 00:17:15:13
Eric Taylor
It's ironic, you know, clean up your toys, huh? I'm tired of. So, are you gonna clean the toilet? Yeah. Let me spray. It's fun. It's like everyday stuff, you know? But the everyday stuff, you know, it piles up, is consistent. And now we we have specific YouTubers we love to watch. Joshua Weisman is mine is my dude and the Golden Ballot, The Golden Balance and a couple of others and the girls and I will try to find new recipes just from them.

00:17:15:13 - 00:17:26:16
Eric Taylor
And let's watch Josh and then we go to do it. But Father's Day and Obama has his cookbook. You know, so we we have that that bond through the kitchen. So a lot of fun.

00:17:27:03 - 00:17:47:01
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. My my girls love cooking, too. And I honestly didn't cook very much growing up. Like, I don't really remember doing that. Like, my brother and I, we were just like, we'd always just go play and stuff, so we would never really be around the kitchen too much. Like we'd get home and we'd either be working on schoolwork or we'd be out playing.

00:17:47:23 - 00:18:19:01
Matthew Krekeler
And so I never really appreciated it as much. And it was something, a skill that I kind of had to learn and my wife challenging me, but I found it really fun as something like we could do together and new recipes and stuff, but it was even more fun to be able to do that with my daughters because just the joy that they have and all the little things, I mean, of course it takes twice as long, but it's also like them cracking the eggs and getting the pour the milk and all those different things.

00:18:19:01 - 00:18:33:06
Matthew Krekeler
Like they just love that. And it's so simple and it's something we just often overlook sometimes. But it's amazing just how much your kids want to be involved and want to just spend time with you, even if it's cleaning. Like you said.

00:18:34:21 - 00:18:57:05
Eric Taylor
Though for sure they that yeah, they love just getting into it and I love that these type of things there's the skills and the some of the stuff you would brought up earlier. I some of the things that I post about are challenging us as men, but also just like the kid that I was, the boy that we were, we didn't know how to cook.

00:18:57:05 - 00:19:24:00
Eric Taylor
But how essential is that skill? Right. And so my daughters are going to know, like you're you better get your man to cook. Right, or he's not worth your time. He better look. Yeah, right. It's it's not just on the the women to do certain things, right? We both live in the house. We both have to take care of this home.

00:19:24:00 - 00:19:43:22
Eric Taylor
Right. And there are specific gender roles. And obviously that's a huge conversation right now all around the country. But there are very specific gender, gender roles that we're we came up on. But it's essential for everybody to be able to do everything. And I because when I think about it, I there were times being with my in-laws, right?

00:19:43:23 - 00:20:05:08
Eric Taylor
My, my, my mother in law was all from, from from high school and T.J. and Mexico and some Mexican dishes take all freaking day to get done. Right. And she just be in there over the stove all day as a long time. Like, I don't I want to make sure that I'm able to be there to take care of that.

00:20:05:08 - 00:20:16:18
Eric Taylor
Right. I want my daughters to know you shouldn't be in there the entire day. Right. Get some help. Right. You, Yolanda, to switch it out. And teamwork, that thing, that's kind of that process.

00:20:17:08 - 00:20:27:04
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. My grandparents are Italian and it would be similar all day thing. They're working on the sauce, they're cutting garlic, and it's just constantly. Right.

00:20:27:09 - 00:20:29:10
Eric Taylor
It's. It's worth it. It's worth.

00:20:29:10 - 00:20:30:03
Matthew Krekeler
It. Oh, totally.

00:20:30:07 - 00:20:36:02
Eric Taylor
Yeah, like, completely. But it shouldn't just be them, I guess is the point, right.

00:20:37:01 - 00:21:01:11
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Well when we like just recently, a couple of years ago. Yeah. When we had our girls we would bring over stuff to make homemade pasta with my grandparents. And that was an amazing experience because it's something that my grandma would just like slave away in the kitchen all day, and then we'd have pasta either for like Thanksgiving or Christmas or something like major event like that.

00:21:02:05 - 00:21:27:02
Matthew Krekeler
And it was something we all looked forward to, but really like we weren't too much a part of it. But when we were able to like, No, let's make this a family thing and like learn from her, it was just such an amazing experience and something that they really appreciated getting it passed down to us too. And then similarly, like my daughter's cracking eggs and making the homemade pasta and stuff and just absolutely loving it.

00:21:27:13 - 00:21:51:06
Matthew Krekeler
So like, that's something like I, I too wanted to model like as men, you know, don't be afraid to be in the kitchen to help out. And then, like you said, to like cleaning and stuff. These aren't like gender specific tasks. Like part of just being in a family is to, like, help each other out and to show love by acts of service for one another.

00:21:51:06 - 00:22:09:06
Matthew Krekeler
And yeah, and I love that you are modeling that. And then so that when your girls grow up like they know like this is not just like a new task, but look for someone who values me and is willing to serve me in a way that is loving and healthy relationships and all that.

00:22:10:12 - 00:22:40:10
Eric Taylor
That's exactly right. That's the it's the way it was. As far as the food goes. I love the cultural practices and passing on like legitimate traditions that you can keep in your family that because there's so much to the culture that's connected to food and it's beautiful. Oh, absolutely. Love that. And then on the other side of it, as far as keeping, you know, keeping it equal, right, they say the whole 5050 makes 100 like now you both got to be 100% right.

00:22:40:10 - 00:23:03:06
Eric Taylor
And when I think of the times my wife especially like postpartum life, right, where if there's times that I forgot to do some of those things right, the amount of stress that is on the the mother of the children, because there's so much in the house that they think about that we don't really think about. Yeah, she's being a good you growing up, right?

00:23:03:09 - 00:23:23:09
Eric Taylor
I didn't think about food. I just that was going to be on the table at some point, right. Unless it wasn't. And I let me go get my Walmart bag of cereal and put it in a Tupperware. I'm good, right? But it's an entire family affair. Looking at the house from their point of view, it's a tough thing and it takes practice.

00:23:23:09 - 00:23:44:15
Eric Taylor
But like, really recognizing like, okay, how would my wife handle the situation? How would mama handle the situation? And looking at, okay, obviously, you know, there's a couple of toys on the floor. Okay, you guys go pick that up, okay? Never mind. Go clean the toilet, then I'll pick those up. Right. Like thinking from their point of view is, is huge.

00:23:44:15 - 00:23:56:20
Eric Taylor
And I'm trying I'm still not great at it. I'm trying to get better at it every day so that my my daughters know, like, whatever that does, the boys that comes around, they better figure it out too.

00:23:56:20 - 00:24:13:10
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. And then talk a little bit just about the roles that you've created. Yeah. Feel free to mention your favorites. But yeah, you use that term like so that you're Dusty's son does it like try to like impress, impress her with something like mediocre.

00:24:13:23 - 00:24:14:14
Eric Taylor
Okay, yeah.

00:24:14:15 - 00:24:16:15
Matthew Krekeler
But yeah.

00:24:16:15 - 00:24:50:22
Eric Taylor
It's, it's taken a turn. I've been doing more of one because it's just so much fun because there's so many situations where I think about and I hope I've lost some followers. And you and I were talking about this before, but I lost followers because there are boy moms, you know, and I want to make sure people understand, like, obviously I'm a man, like I have no hatred towards boys or men, but there's a stigma of men, boys growing up where they're not being taught the skills to be helpful in the house.

00:24:50:22 - 00:25:21:03
Eric Taylor
And they're, you know, just the basic thought, like all boys will be boys. Like that's a garbage conversation. That's an excuse for them to be able to do whatever they want. And a struggle for women coming up for the longest is that men will essentially do whatever they want and it shouldn't be that way. So trying to challenge that thought process to recognize, hey, you know what, this woman is empowered and they deserve your respect.

00:25:21:03 - 00:25:37:05
Eric Taylor
They deserve the best from you, right now. Obviously, one of my biggest ones, one of the ones that blew up and it didn't even blow up on my page. You grew up on an in and out page, but I'm from California, so obviously I have love for it. And we had it at our wedding. Okay. That's how dedicated I am to the.

00:25:37:07 - 00:25:44:00
Matthew Krekeler
And we just got back here in Denver like just a couple days ago and it was a huge thing. Went in and out, came here.

00:25:44:00 - 00:26:21:03
Eric Taylor
It's big, man. It's big, dry, dry, a four by four. When you have it, eat anything throughout the day. Whole grilled onions. It's everything but my my that's been my biggest role right now is and you know, I said that I'm taking my daughters in and out because as far as freshness goes in and out, is dedicated to freshness, like it hasn't gone nationwide because they ensure that I forget what the number is, but they have to be within like 5 hours of wherever their actual produce comes from and the meat comes from to ensure maximum freshness.

00:26:21:03 - 00:26:38:19
Eric Taylor
So it's never frozen or any of that, right? It's super fresh food, right? The best. And that's why I said, you know, taking my kids in and out so the sun don't try to, you know, dust this and I'll try to impress them with Burger King. Right. And that will blow up just because there's so many people who love Burger King.

00:26:38:20 - 00:27:04:22
Eric Taylor
And I'm surprised. Right. But the thought process is like step up the game for for your boys, but also step up to the game for the girls. Right. Let's all get better. Is that that process? Because I know growing up I didn't do majority of the things that I do now. So I'm really talking to the kid. That was me that had no idea, like, oh, wow.

00:27:04:22 - 00:27:22:15
Eric Taylor
Yeah, I should probably think a little bit differently about this. I should give more quality to the man that I'm becoming and what I want to give to the woman that I end up wanting to live with and give my all to for the rest of my life. I got a little bit deeper than I thought on that, but that's true.

00:27:22:19 - 00:27:29:16
Eric Taylor
That's really that's that's great. There's a lot to laugh about. There's a lot to laugh about because there's so many dumb things that we do. Yeah.

00:27:30:20 - 00:27:33:17
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Well, maybe I could get this episode sponsored by In and out.

00:27:35:13 - 00:27:36:12
Eric Taylor
That would be amazing.

00:27:38:05 - 00:28:08:17
Matthew Krekeler
Right? Yeah. I love just sort of the satirical nature of it. Yeah. You're poking fun at like, you know, like men to be better. And it's not just like, you know, these boys, like, hey, it's like your kids fault. It's like, no, it's really a reflection on all of us. Like even as grown men now, the way that I treat my wife has to be a reflection of how I want my daughters to grow up with a man that treats them with the same respect that I show my wife and all that kind of stuff.

00:28:09:10 - 00:28:16:08
Matthew Krekeler
So thank you so much for clarifying that, that it's not just like you pointing fingers at people, but.

00:28:16:22 - 00:28:18:17
Eric Taylor
But boy moms are the worst.

00:28:18:20 - 00:28:45:14
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. No, because parenting is hard. You know, there's certain things that like the way that my daughter sometimes would maybe treat her sister or someone else. And I'm like, you know, that's not really like the person that I'm hoping that I'm raising. But, you know, it's it's hard. And and they're learning that and it's a process. And there's things like, I make so many mistakes and like, I try to point those things out.

00:28:45:20 - 00:29:08:12
Matthew Krekeler
So like, even with my own kids, I'll say, like, you know, Daddy shouldn't have done that. You know, like, that was wrong. Like either, like I was yelling or like, yeah, I was too physical or whatever. Like I needed to calm down. I'm going to try again. And I think that's good to give our kids permission to try again, that that's not a reflection of who they are.

00:29:08:22 - 00:29:26:10
Matthew Krekeler
They might have done something bad, but it's not who they are. And in a similar way we are, and I'm speaking to all of us fathers, mothers, but everyone that we have to give ourselves the opportunity to try again and know that like we're better than that too.

00:29:27:23 - 00:29:47:01
Eric Taylor
100% of that. That is such a beautiful thing. And I love that you do that because it gives it gives them the opportunity to recognize that, oh, so you can be wrong, too, or you can do things wrong. You can mess up. Right? Failure is a beautiful thing. And that's Michael Jordan, his quote, and the amount of times that he failed.

00:29:47:01 - 00:30:08:22
Eric Taylor
Right. Or, you know, I I'm a Harry Potter fan. So, J.K. Rowling, how many times you felt like but more importantly with relationships. Right. That you can mess up with the people that you love the most and you can actually apologize, work together to understand, communicate and move forward. I think that's huge sums. I'm so glad that you do that.

00:30:08:22 - 00:30:33:07
Eric Taylor
I think for the basic man, it's like, No, I'm the boss, I'm in charge, this is what I do and I don't apologize for it because I run this. But if if a girl was growing up that way and, you know, man messes up, she needs to know that they do they should apologized and that they should be able to move forward together.

00:30:33:17 - 00:30:44:22
Eric Taylor
Now, if my daughters end up with a guy like that, I might have failed. But but the process is still is still there. So I bet you do that. That's pregnant.

00:30:45:22 - 00:31:10:18
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you. Yeah. And as you were alluding to, too, it goes, you know, family life at the office, too, like to have a boss that says, you know, like what I what I did or the way that I approach this was wrong. Like I didn't value your opinion or something, like to recognize that people are fallible. That and to say and then also look for those traits in other people.

00:31:10:18 - 00:31:34:14
Matthew Krekeler
I think it's often men and I'm speaking as myself too that I like sort of get this ego and pride that that I want to be right and I want to make sure that I'm doing all the right things. But what I'm trying to do more and more is to look for the voices of others. And I think having daughters is like one of those blessings where it's like, Yeah, how can I look at this from a different perspective?

00:31:35:06 - 00:32:04:19
Matthew Krekeler
And especially like trying to raise daughters now, it's like, Yeah, what are those female voices like? You know, in my office, just in media and other things, yeah. How can we be more attentive to those things? And and I'm so blessed to have daughters in the way that like, it's kind of made me more aware of that and the way that I try to model that in the way that I have conversations with other people or at point out points of view from other people that like, I want to try to model that for them.

00:32:04:19 - 00:32:17:11
Matthew Krekeler
And in that it's like, yeah, everyone should have a voice and nobody is at a certain status where they can't be one to listen and also one to learn for sure.

00:32:17:22 - 00:32:19:10
Eric Taylor
I'm going to talk the King Triton about that.

00:32:20:13 - 00:32:25:09
Matthew Krekeler
And yeah, so go with that. Yeah, go for it.

00:32:25:16 - 00:32:25:22
Eric Taylor
No.

00:32:27:02 - 00:32:27:18
Matthew Krekeler
Most. Yeah.

00:32:28:09 - 00:32:33:13
Eric Taylor
Well, because, you know, my my daughter's obviously Little Mermaid, the new live action is on record.

00:32:33:13 - 00:32:34:22
Matthew Krekeler
Did you see the songs?

00:32:34:22 - 00:32:44:04
Eric Taylor
Yes. We had to go to the theater to see it for sure. It was amazing, actually. I loved it. I, my wife and I, we cried. But King is right.

00:32:44:04 - 00:32:54:02
Matthew Krekeler
I'm excited to take my kids. I think it's a little bit scary for them. Like there are certain scenes in some movies that they yeah, it's a little bit much. Her sister.

00:32:54:03 - 00:33:16:03
Eric Taylor
Ursula. Ursula is nuts. Okay, I'll give you that. Like I legitimately, I'm surprised that my my daughters weren't scared because I was like, oh, my gosh, you're doing a great race. It's scary. But King Triton, he then and there would be no spoilers like you already know what the other one does. But he had a one liner where he's actually communicating with Ariel.

00:33:16:03 - 00:33:42:06
Eric Taylor
Right. Because for the longest, I think he just boss man, like, do as I say. And, you know, then he realized he he said, you shouldn't have had to give up your voice for me to hear you. And wow, you kept you kept using that word voice. And I'm thinking of, you know, how how many times throughout the day do I cut my my daughter off because I already know what she's going to say right.

00:33:42:06 - 00:34:05:07
Eric Taylor
It's it's so easy to just be like, no, no. And then stop their train of thought and how but what does that do to them mentally from the man that they love the most and that they used to like that they shouldn't speak up? And I have really been doing my best to try to make sure that they have the safe space to speak, to be heard and not be afraid to speak up.

00:34:05:17 - 00:34:28:02
Eric Taylor
I think that's the hardest part of growing up in in our life this time was, you know, respect your elders, respect everybody else, let everybody else go before you be nice to everybody else. But I'm at a point now I want to race Weekend Warriors, like I want them to go to jujitsu. I want my daughters to punch a dude in the throat if they need a punch of do in the throat.

00:34:28:03 - 00:34:49:16
Eric Taylor
You know what I mean? Yes. Kick them. Kick them where? Herds, if they need to do it because they're they matter, they're important and they are essential and they need to recognize that and be empowered to use their voice. And they shouldn't be shut down or shut up. And I, I just love that I that's what I thought of when you get.

00:34:49:18 - 00:34:50:17
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I love that.

00:34:50:17 - 00:34:51:15
Eric Taylor
Giving them the voice.

00:34:53:07 - 00:35:14:22
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. There's so many different like allusions and stuff like in The Little Mermaid and yeah, one of the themes too is just that like even without, like, I think Ursula in the animated one says this and there's a whole song that's actually like more adult than it probably should be, but she's just like, like, you don't need your voice.

00:35:14:22 - 00:35:19:12
Matthew Krekeler
Like your biggest asset is your body and all kind of study language.

00:35:19:13 - 00:35:20:22
Eric Taylor
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:21:04 - 00:35:57:18
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah. Exactly. And so that it's like, yeah, you're your looks are like what men value and. So even the conversations that like I have with my daughters, I try like, yes, I think they're beautiful women just naturally are beautiful like there's and that's a good thing. That's a amazing gift. I told my wife that I think she's beautiful, but I also want to highlight all of the other amazing qualities like how they're problem solving or how they're kind or thoughtful or really tough to like.

00:35:57:18 - 00:36:14:17
Matthew Krekeler
There's times where my daughter falls down, we put up a swing like on our deck and she like fell off it pretty hard one time, but she got up and I was like, Oh, bad. She's like, not going to want to swing again, but then, like, give her like half an hour and she is like, Daddy, I wanted to do it again.

00:36:15:06 - 00:36:33:04
Matthew Krekeler
And I was like, Wow, that's awesome. Like, you know, that's some toughness and resilience to not be afraid of those things. And I try to highlight those other really great qualities just as much, if not more so than just yes, yours or mine. I think you're beautiful and that's a good thing too. But yeah.

00:36:34:01 - 00:36:57:08
Eric Taylor
No, for sure. I saw a long, long time ago now. There was a real it was a black father with his daughter standing in front of a mirror and he had this full was a beautiful affirmation. I don't remember the whole thing, but I remember like I love that and I want to do that. So I ended up writing my own affirmations for, for my girls.

00:36:57:08 - 00:37:18:05
Eric Taylor
And we said every single day in the morning and at night just to remind them of like who they are. And not just to me, but like who they really are, you know? So it's it sounds a little corny, but it goes like this. I'm strong, I'm smart, I'm beautiful with a brave heart. I love Jesus so I know how to act.

00:37:18:05 - 00:37:29:11
Eric Taylor
I know my worth because of fame. And God got my back. And then I come in and say, Yeah, we got your back. Yeah, yeah, we go to the bar. I try to hype it up every time, but I that's amazing.

00:37:29:12 - 00:37:30:02
Matthew Krekeler
All of that.

00:37:31:07 - 00:37:58:16
Eric Taylor
Eroded because one of them to remember forever. But I just wanted something that would, you know, obviously music sticks with people, but I wanted something that would stick with them and would help them up and let them know who they are, not just to me, but just who they are. And try to remember that always, because I know as a as a kid myself growing up, the the the one liners that I remember are like from Albus Dumbledore and from all these characters.

00:37:58:23 - 00:38:18:04
Eric Taylor
It's in so many books. I was a reader and movies and stuff. But, you know, their father, you know, instilled in them. And I want them to remember that just be, you know, 20 and 20 and 18 and they'll be out somewhere and be like, you remember that thing Dad used to say, That's what I want.

00:38:19:18 - 00:38:37:12
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. That almost leads into my last question. But before I get to that, I wanted to give you space. Any other words of advice for fathers of daughters, things that you've learned from your own kids? Yeah. Or just like sort of a philosophy to approaching parenting.

00:38:37:12 - 00:38:58:22
Eric Taylor
Gotcha. Well, it was as I said, you know, at the beginning when I story started, I, I was born in an awkward situation so that I wasn't able to know my, my dad or my father, sperm donor, as they say growing up, I was raised by my mom. She was super strong. She's amazing. Still is to this day.

00:38:59:11 - 00:39:25:22
Eric Taylor
And one of the most important things I always wanted to ensure that I did was be the husband that my mom never had to be, the dad that I never had. And there's a lot of things that you can learn. And ironically, I learned so much from fictional characters. I follow, I follow fit dads, the people whose amazing best dad jokes on the Internet.

00:39:26:07 - 00:39:55:19
Eric Taylor
But he had a bunch of stories that it was like a tournament of the best dads on TV, right? The best TV dads, one that ended up winning was Uncle Phil, come from Fresh Prince. It was between him and him and banned it from Blu ray and too that I love them I love I want to be bandit when I grow up like legit dude as amazing and so much fun.

00:39:55:22 - 00:40:19:05
Eric Taylor
But when it comes to fatherhood, if I could leave any advice, it would just be to come to know yourself, right? Know thyself, that big one liner so you recognize where your flaws are and try to fix them as soon as possible. Don't have a midlife crisis and have to drag your kids through it with you. Right figure?

00:40:19:05 - 00:40:43:09
Eric Taylor
Well, the biggest thing is I figured out before I even met my wife right, I have been stuck in some addictions for a while and coming to get to know God and get to know my Savior and bringing my mind back to myself to know who I really was, I wouldn't trade that for that as the most important thing that I was able to do was to overcome my past so that I can have a better future.

00:40:43:09 - 00:41:09:19
Eric Taylor
I don't want my past to ever dampen or stop them from having a better future. So if I could give any any advice to anyone is know thyself and and conquer yourself so you can give your best self to your kids because that's what they deserve. I think of what you had, what you didn't have and give them the best of all of it.

00:41:09:19 - 00:41:31:01
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. I love that advice and that made me think of this other quote that I really like. I'm not quite sure who said it, but it goes like every saint has a past and every sinner as a future. And it's just like, you know, no matter where you are now, it doesn't have to be where you are in the future.

00:41:31:11 - 00:41:55:21
Matthew Krekeler
And yeah, just recognizing again, like we were talking about that everyone has a chance to try again and just allowing yourself the space and then as parents like how can we offer that same grace to our kids and those other people in our life to you? Like constantly. My wife and I, we're trying to make this relationship work and it's hard, but constantly being like, Hey, we are in this together.

00:41:55:21 - 00:42:14:08
Matthew Krekeler
We're in this for the long run. How can I ask for that? Grace For my wife? And then how can I extend that to you when she asks for that? That's like, yeah, you know, like we'll mess up, but we want to keep getting better and be the best version for each other and the best version for our kids for sure.

00:42:14:20 - 00:42:39:04
Eric Taylor
The best version of, you know, and you, you and us, you know, as the parents, right? Like giving them the best version so that they can they can see it modeled. Right. I think that was something that I always missed out on, was like, I don't know. I don't even know what a relationship is supposed to look like, let alone how I navigate it.

00:42:39:07 - 00:43:07:17
Eric Taylor
So I last. Okay, last piece of advice. Yeah. Treat fatherhood like the most important job that you've ever had. Okay, I just wish that my entire career from teaching, I got into tech, right? I hadn't studied more or prepared more or practiced more in my entire life for anything for this interview. Right. And ended up being the easiest interview I've ever had because the tech people are super job.

00:43:07:22 - 00:43:37:11
Eric Taylor
Right. But I had never been more prepared and studied and practiced and researched the living lights out of it. So you think about fatherhood as the most important job and you know, other than supporting the most important job, which is motherhood study, research, if you don't know something, reach out. The Internet is here. There are so many amazing men online that we can follow to have good right like me, I grew up.

00:43:37:11 - 00:43:51:18
Eric Taylor
I had I had no father. I don't know what it's supposed to actually look like. Right? We got so many guys that are out here doing it, right? Right. They're trying to do it, striving to be the best. There are so many resources that are into you, so many books that you can read, that you can study from so many YouTube channels.

00:43:52:02 - 00:44:06:15
Eric Taylor
There is literally like everything in the palm of your hand with your cell phone. Like you're not just going to be good at it. You have to practice, you have to fail, and you have to get better. So be better, man. That's all I could say.

00:44:07:17 - 00:44:30:20
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, totally. And I'm inspired by guys like you, Eric. I mean, that's the whole point of wanting to do this podcast is just to connect with other men who are have giving it their best shot. As dads, I purposely like am not necessarily going after like so-called experts on people with PhDs and like a bunch of parenting books and all that kind of stuff.

00:44:30:20 - 00:44:53:06
Matthew Krekeler
Not that I'm opposed to having them on the podcast, but yeah, but mostly it's just like everyone has a different story, everyone has a different background, and just being able to hear people like you that are just so in love with their family and just every day showing up and doing that is just really inspiring. So thank you so much for sharing all that.

00:44:53:22 - 00:44:56:19
Eric Taylor
Thank you. It's been my pleasure and honor.

00:44:58:00 - 00:45:19:04
Matthew Krekeler
And then the last question I ask all of my guests this, but imagine your daughters are listening to this right now. Maybe they'll listen to this in the future. But I've kind of thought of this a little bit as like a time capsule in a way. What would tell your daughters directly?

00:45:19:04 - 00:45:27:22
Eric Taylor
Okay, how far out is this? I'm like, like five years. Ten years? Are they grown?

00:45:28:20 - 00:45:44:16
Matthew Krekeler
Yeah, I guess I've left it open ended. I've Had some I've had some dads that were like, if they listen to this tomorrow, then I know that they left the living room a mess. So they need to come down and clean it, but I'll leave it open ended.

00:45:45:10 - 00:46:19:04
Eric Taylor
All right. So I. I fully agree. If this is tomorrow, listen to your mom. If this is, say, ten years down the road, you're a you're in your teens trying to figure out life. Stay close to God. He's always close to you and he always loves you even more than me. Somehow stay close to him and don't ever be afraid to reach out to me, to ask me questions, to just never be too embarrassed to talk to me.

00:46:19:04 - 00:46:42:15
Eric Taylor
I know I bug you and talk to you every day anyway, but there's things that you care about that matter most to you. Come talk to me because I'm always going to be here. Speak out. The good in in everything. Because there's always going to be bad. And the bad is really trying to. The bad is always louder.

00:46:42:15 - 00:47:04:04
Eric Taylor
So you got to you got to seek out the quiet and the peace. So we'll go on our hikes. We'll go we'll go hang out by the waterfalls and we'll talk about life. Let's seek out the good and I'll find you and I'll come back to you. I love you.

00:47:04:04 - 00:47:06:09
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you. That's great.

00:47:07:06 - 00:47:16:12
Eric Taylor
All right. I'll write something better for you in the future. I got a book coming for you. So you read it, practice it.

00:47:16:12 - 00:47:19:02
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. Eric, thank you so much for being on the show.

00:47:20:03 - 00:47:34:20
Eric Taylor
Thank you again. It's been an honor, Matt, the stuff that you're doing, appreciate it.

00:47:34:21 - 00:47:57:11
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you to Eric for sharing his story and being part of Girl Dad Nation check out the links in the description to see more content from @girldad_e, including the affirmation song he taught his daughters. I hope this inspires you as it does me to be present. Lead by example, and encourage our daughters. The Nation is built first in the home and I want to raise warriors.

00:47:57:21 - 00:48:14:20
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you for journeying with me. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please let me know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts and sharing the show with a Girl Dad. I'd also love to know what affirmations you tell your daughters. Drop me a note I might feature it in a later episode. Girl Dad Nation is on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

00:48:15:04 - 00:48:22:04
Matthew Krekeler
You can also email me at girldadnationpodcast@gmail.com. There is no greater joy than being a dad.