BONUS: Top Moves for New Dads (ft. Greg Bishop and Chuck Ault, Boot Camp for New Dads)

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00:00:00:08 - 00:00:24:19
Matthew Krekeler
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation. In this bonus episode, I ask Greg Bishop and Chuck Ault from Boot Camp for New Dads to share their top moves for new dads. Basically, these are their recommended best actions that any new father should take from years of experience.

00:00:28:14 - 00:00:39:08
Matthew Krekeler
Well, welcome back. It's awesome to have Greg and Chuck from Boot Camp for New Dads. Now, I wanted to ask you each, what are your top five moves for new dads?

00:00:40:10 - 00:00:55:19
Chuck Ault
Okay, move. Number one. In the first three months of the baby's life, Dad spends 2 hours outside of the house with baby on his own. That's move number one.

00:00:56:08 - 00:00:57:09
Matthew Krekeler
That's a big challenge.

00:00:58:02 - 00:00:58:14
Chuck Ault
That's a big one.

00:00:58:15 - 00:01:00:04
Matthew Krekeler
I know that's a daunting challenge.

00:01:00:04 - 00:01:00:18
Chuck Ault
I started with.

00:01:00:18 - 00:01:06:18
Matthew Krekeler
Just like trying to think of everything. Just packing to leave the house was a loss for me, but I.

00:01:06:19 - 00:01:23:09
Chuck Ault
Know all of it. And you learn so much. And like, even if you fail, it's a success, right? Because you've just. And the points that you've scored with mom in terms of just her confidence in you growing is kind of, you know, a bonus related to that.

00:01:23:13 - 00:01:39:14
Matthew Krekeler
So and giving mom that little bit of a breather I know is so huge. I remember coming back from taking my daughter out just for a little bit and just like the relief that she felt like to not constantly be touched by the baby and like, always needing something. But yeah, I know. That's huge.

00:01:40:12 - 00:01:41:02
Chuck Ault
Do you want to take.

00:01:41:02 - 00:01:59:03
Greg Bishop
One, Greg? Yeah, all those. I just want to emphasize that when two of those road trips do one more thing, which is when you're home with mom there, you have a relationship with your baby. When mom leaves, you have a little different. But when you go out alone and you get that diaper bag and hit the road with them, it's just a very different relationship.

00:01:59:03 - 00:02:16:19
Greg Bishop
It's just the two of you. And I think that that's just one of those things that happens when you're out alone. You're just developing a much stronger relationship on a higher level. But, you know, my number one and I warn my my son and son in law about this is you want to you want to hold that baby as much as possible.

00:02:17:23 - 00:02:35:14
Greg Bishop
You know, right after they're born. And, you know, I want them about the skin to skin thing because I tell them you're going to turn, you know, this baby is going to be addictive and you're you're mainlining the most potent drug on the planet. By doing so, you're going to be crazy for her, you know, for sure. Forever, basically.

00:02:35:14 - 00:02:54:00
Greg Bishop
And and so really just just that kind of contact, the more they hold them, the more confident they are about taking care of their babies. If they learn from the nurses how to do so in the hospital and go home and they're good to go, you know, mom cuts them loose. They spend that time there in the middle of the night when they're helping feed them, that sort of thing, just the two of them alone.

00:02:54:11 - 00:03:16:20
Greg Bishop
But all of that stuff just does a number on us as men. And the science has come along since then. Sort of two decades ago, Princeton did a study on new fathers, and it basically said that the birth is a magical moment. And then the neuroscience came along and kind of told us what's happening. And it turns out the cave dads are our ancestors were the same way because that's where we get it from.

00:03:16:20 - 00:03:41:18
Greg Bishop
All those, you know, biological changes and that sort of thing. And, you know, we quickly we quickly reach, you know, almost instantaneously reach a point where we would kill for them, you know, God help the driver in the car next door, even when mom's pregnant, you know, get too close to us and such. And it just that there's just, you know, if you do that, you know, you're going to be you know, you're going to get launched right out of the chute when your baby comes.

00:03:43:03 - 00:04:08:10
Chuck Ault
Yeah. And I would add for my next one, because you are so chemically, you know, sort of fired up from the baby, it's really easy in a situation where sort of you return to work and maybe mom is still doing some maternity leave, so she's at home with the baby. It's really easy when you return home to sort of ignore mom and just sort of go straight for the goods, right straight for the baby.

00:04:08:16 - 00:04:22:21
Chuck Ault
And so my next step would be to always, you know, kiss mom first, ask her what she needs and then go for the baby. You know, she's she's going to tell you she needs you to take care of the baby. So just hold off and don't make that your first stop.

00:04:23:14 - 00:04:24:12
Matthew Krekeler
That's good advice.

00:04:25:02 - 00:04:47:14
Greg Bishop
Now. And and speaking of moms, because that's the huge challenge really with with boot camp, you know, because we boot camp for new moms, too, it's really all about helping new moms and dads to how to work together. And on the moment that most momentous endeavor they can ever, ever think of. And so one thing that happens is after that baby comes, things get stirred up and it's hard to settle down and get back to anything.

00:04:47:14 - 00:05:02:07
Greg Bishop
So we we suggest they make a list of the fun things they like to do before for the baby comes along and they get back to that so they can get back into being the couple enjoying each other and such. So I would definitely store that one in for sure.

00:05:02:08 - 00:05:34:19
Chuck Ault
And to that point I would add because I hear this as a complaint on the part of moms a lot, is that Dad returns to his pre-baby life somewhat quickly in terms of the things that he likes to do by himself without regard to to her. So I would say, you know, if you like to golf, for instance, you're not heading straight back to the golf course unless there's already three or 4 hours carved out in the schedule for mom to do the thing that she needs to get back to and would like to get back to.

00:05:34:19 - 00:05:47:22
Chuck Ault
So there always has to be that awareness of, you know, kind of the the calories burned, right? Like you need to be burning about the same amount of calories taking care of this baby or else there's going to be difficult conversations ahead.

00:05:48:20 - 00:06:12:22
Greg Bishop
Yeah, and yeah, I would I would add, you know, they need to know that no matter how good they are, there will be times it's not good enough. As far as mom concerned and sort of know connected to that, they need to appreciate that because, you know, basically, moms, you know, the Bible up biology is pretty clear minds biologically dump us when they when they have babies.

00:06:12:22 - 00:06:29:11
Greg Bishop
The reason they're they got their oxytocin from from us before that before junior came along. And all of a sudden, it's it's all about you know, it's all about the baby for them. And if we appreciate, they need to, you know, kind of fall back in love with us again with the new father of their own baby in their life.

00:06:30:10 - 00:06:45:08
Greg Bishop
And it's whatever we do at that point, whatever sacrifice we make are totally worth it because it lasts for a very long time. I think that that's a huge lesson that they know that they're just, you know, it just works out great over time. Yeah.

00:06:46:16 - 00:06:48:14
Chuck Ault
I wasn't counting, but I bet that.

00:06:48:14 - 00:06:49:04
Matthew Krekeler
I was.

00:06:50:04 - 00:06:52:12
Chuck Ault
Full lot.

00:06:52:15 - 00:07:16:06
Matthew Krekeler
That's great. Well, yeah, I think that connection is really important to you. I remember, like, you know, after, like, a month of having a new baby, you're like, Yeah, what were we like before this? Right. Like, you're like, we haven't even seen our friends or anything like that. So I think, like, having those conversations, if you can do that before the baby and just like then you actually have a goal to go back to and making that time.

00:07:16:06 - 00:07:33:19
Matthew Krekeler
And then my wife and I are really into board games and stuff like that. That's one way that we like to spend time together. So sometimes like we'll put the kids to bed and find like a two player game that we can do. And just having that like our after the kids go to bed, that's like, oh yeah, this is something that, that we can do together.

00:07:33:20 - 00:07:40:21
Matthew Krekeler
So yeah, I think that's all great advice. Thank you for sharing that. Well, thank you both. Thank you so much for your time and for being here.

00:07:41:07 - 00:07:45:12
Chuck Ault
Thanks for having us. What a fun conversation and an important conversation.

00:07:46:04 - 00:07:55:13
Greg Bishop
Great. And let me thank you for doing what you're doing. You know, thanks. It just it helps us guys raise the bar even further.

00:07:57:17 - 00:08:27:07
Matthew Krekeler
Thank you to Greg and Chuck for sharing their top tips and being part of Girl Dad Nation. I think all of the advice shared is really great and I encourage you to share this episode with a new dad in your life. If you have more recommendations for new dads, I'd love to hear them. Leave a comment on social media or send me an email to girldadnationpodcast@gmail.com.

00:08:28:00 - 00:08:37:19
Matthew Krekeler
And if you haven't done so yet, hit that follow button. It means a lot to me. Thank you for listening. And in the words of my almost four year old. See you later, crocodile.